three years in london | Obsidian Vault

2025-12-04 10:40 Note Type: journal Tags: london

1st Sept, 2025

Today marks three years to the day I took my first flight to London.

Sharing a few reflections.

London healed me.

You can’t heal in the place that hurt you. (May be you can, and you will but it’s gonna be a tougher journey.)

It took quite some time to acknowledge that I was hurt. And even more time to grieve. And then some more time to take steps to heal. And then some more time to actually feel a change and feel lighter.

Things that helped: (In no particular order)

reading books, journaling, talking it out, going to a therapist, changing cities, immersing myself in arts, going for concerts, going out on dates, having good people around me, supportive friends, supportive parents (this is rare, I was lucky), the final PLORK one on one session, RCA graduate project, films I made in NID, gym, kindness from the source of your hurt (again this is rare, I was lucky), talking it out with strangers (can’t emphasise this more), performance art, photography, good food.

Was London an escape?

Perhaps it was.

But it was a beautiful kind of escape.

Moving to a new city doesn’t mean you are lost, or you just want to escape. It simply means you are courageous enough to start again. And it takes courage.

And it’s beautiful and in-fact important to move to a place where the ecosystem of your favourite things exists.

A lot can happen in three years.

Your life can flip over upside down and can be back to a good form again. You can always decide to begin again.

A new place, a new life, a new relationship, new friends, new hobbies, new profession.

But to add to this, three years in nothing in the large canvas of life. Nothing might happen in three years and you still can pick it up from the fourth year.

Was I happy in London?

I believe that the prime source of someone’s happiness will always be human connections.

money helps of course. Money will basically leads to build a better life, which helps build better human connections (relationships and friendships), and that ultimately adds up to your happiness.

I have been lucky to find people in London who made me feel at home. Without them, I would have perhaps, returned India the day my masters was over.

Ask what you need.

Don’t assume that you don’t deserve.

Whether it’s for an admission in your dream college, or for dream full tuition scholarship, or for a pay that your thought only seasoned professionals would get, your dream job in a dream company.

Ask. Period.

Drop your ego. And ask.

Go abroad to study (but only with a scholarship!!)

Don’t waste your hard earned money on the fees. There are lots of scholarships and you must give it a full on try and wait for a few years till you get it.

Don’t rush. There’s nothing so special about doing a masters a year faster. But it’s magical a feeling when you get a full scholarship to study in the best of the colleges in the best of the cities.

Ask for it.

Ofc, work for it.

But more importantly, ask for it!!!!!

Drop your ego and ask!! From local govt, universities, big corporates, your rich family friend, blah blah.

I could have never imagined getting the full scholarship from Apple, if I had not asked for it. Not to forget the countless emails, the rejections from local bodies, the rejection from district collector, the rejection from education minister and many more. All thanks to the ego shattering follow-ups I did.

You will face discrimination.

It’s very tough to thrive as a brown creative ‘artist’ in the west.

You get to do the odd creative jobs. A tier one college degree would help there to some extent. Even I got a chance to work a lot as an exhibition support staff. Made a decent living off the photography gigs I took up. But my works was basically helping other white artists / rich artists thrive in the creative ecosystem.

Can I be an artist?

May be I already am. And I have found a voice of mine as an artist in the last few years and I am so grateful for that.

But will I be famous?

As a curator? As an artist? Can I put up a solo exhibition in Central London? Can I publish a research paper as first author?

Yes, all of it is possible, but it needs that work and time. In fact it needs money, power and proximity to the right white people. And a bit of talent too.

So what did London give me?

Perhaps write a book on it now.

But yeah, London helped me a lot. I will forever be grateful to London for the way it helped me evolve as an artist, as a lover and as a human being.

It helped me go wild as f u c k and get back to my roots with peace.

Long story short,

I am happily married now.

I love my wife soooooooo much. This post was for you. Thank you so much for coming into my life. 🧿

London is beautiful.

I have never fallen in love with a city so fast. Countless music concerts, galleries, book shops, gardens, restaurants and greenery all around (cough).

Add to that an ultimate mix of every possible ethnicity from all corners of the world. Very few cities in this planet can offer this level of multi cultural experience in such a small patch of land.

Will I miss London?

Ofc I will. I have lived one of my bestest years of my life here. Everything I experienced in my first year in London is unimaginably beautiful, full of creative freedom, healing and joy.

I don’t even know how long I will stay here. How will my visa shape up in years to come. How will my wife be placed in her professional career. How will be both align to converge into a same city.

I hate London.

Don’t get me wrong.

One thing for sure, once you have lived in London, it’s difficult to imagine adapting to a place that doesn’t offer any of these. But, but, but.. you gotta have the money to experience London at its best. Or else it won’t take long to slip into depression.

I still don’t get it how can a city be so expensive. The rents are crazy and so is travel, food and the air.

Immigrant life is hard.

Reflect honestly on why you came here, and what you are gaining from here. It could be peace, love, happiness, money, freedom etc. But be clear on what you are getting and acknowledge what you are losing out too, being far from your homeland. If the pros outweighs the cons heavily, then it’s perhaps worth it.

But reflect regularly and frequently. At east once a year.

Don’t fall for the blind rat race coz in the end of the race, you’ll still be a rat.

London is cold.

People say London has a lot to offer, but it's more like if you are looking to avoid something, you have come to the right place. People are cold, and by themselves. And that helps at times.

No one bothers you. No one gives a fk about you. So you are left to do anything you want. Good, bad and the ugly.

I experienced freedom in the true sense, but yeah that comes at a cost.