things that felt like the end of the world but weren't

2025-11-21 11:22 Note Type: list, journal Tags: emotions, nervous-system, psychology

Losing my brother. There are some things you never get over. You just learn to live with it. I will also carry the void with me. I miss you. Come back.

Being rejected by my first love. That message you sent me that night will always haunt a part of me. That night, it felt like the end of the world. It sucked the soul out of me for years.

The last goodbye from Ananya. I felt painfully free that day. I hate you for what you did, but I couldn't have moved on without that goodbye. I am at a much happier place now.

When I dragged and beat my grandmother for the first time. She hurt my mother with the most heart-wrenching words. I had to take a call. I may never forgive myself for it. I pray that God forgives me.

When I was beaten by the police on the street in front of my home. It was painful. I had swollen legs. I cried a lot on the bed that night. I started hating Bhubaneswar from that day. I hope I forgive the land someday.

When I got a Fail grade on the final report card of Year 1 at NID. This was meant to be a place where I would flourish. But I just moved around on the campus like a dead, depressed zombie. I was sad. But also sure that I would get over this very soon.

Getting an F grade in Maths in the first semester of NIT. Absolutely scary and disheartening. I was the school topper in maths a few years ago. This is long gone now, and it's so funny to even imagine that this had once bothered me to my core.

When my mom cried because of me. When I told her that she had been an obstacle in my career growth, she broke down. The fact that I told her I had written this in my journal shattered her. Some things are better not said.