2025-04-26 11:47 Note Type: Tags: grief, culture, stoicism, death, ancestor, rituals

Culture Polices the Expression of Grief

Culture—which includes religious or spiritual beliefs–polices the expression of grief (Walter 1999). Culture controls and informs the bereaved how to think, feel, and behave. Across cultures, “there is a wide spectrum in terms of which emotions are acceptable and in how emotions should be expressed” (Klass and Chow 2011: 344). Furthermore, “appropriate” emotions are often tied to gender roles–in our North American culture, women are typically expected to cry, whereas men are expected to be less emotional.

Culture Polices the Bonds the Living Have with the Dead

Culture also polices the bonds that the living have with the dead. In some cultures, ongoing bonds with the dead are a normal part of everyday life. For example, the Japanese have ancestor rituals in which the dead are believed to pass easily from the afterlife to physical life. In contemporary Northern American and Western European culture, continuing bonds with the dead are typically restricted to the private sphere. Nonetheless, reports of hearing, feeling, and seeing the deceased after the death or in dreams are widespread and often described as soothing and reassuring (see my blog on “Cleaning out Your Deceased Loved One’s Closet”).

References:

https://thegrieftoolbox.com/article/culture-polices-expression-grief