bharat's marriage love is a choice

2025-03-14 11:32 Note Type:completed-writing-pieces Tags:marriage, love

Few years ago when I was going through a tough time navigating through the idea of “love” and the choices we make to build a relationship, I would often go to Puri to talk things out with Bharat. 

In general he is a simple not so chatty guy (borderline introvert); but with me he leads the conversations. We would go to this famous Chinese restaurant in Puri, order some chowmeaainnn, and talk about all things life and Chris Do (our common design god). 

Those days,  he had shared with me about a girl who he was seeing. I was curious about his story and asked him what made him take the call and go ahead? I thought it must be some - met her in a design event, and we clicked due our or love for typography sort of a thing. But to my surprise, he told me that it was a simple message and a logical flow of discussing the choices and priorities.

That day, it made me rethink about “love”. Is that a choice? Is that a feeling? I was inspired, and that conversation gave me a lot of hope. I realised that I need to let go of the idea of love I had “romanticised”.

Having gone through a time where I was overanalysing the idea of  “absence of feelings”, I would question about the definition of feelings. I wondered if that’s about a lack of sexual attraction, or a mismatch of caste. Or was it about a lack of intellectual synchronicity or a blunt mismatch of the family’s financial assets, or was something else.

Yesterday as he got married, it made me feel even more optimistic about love; of how love is “choice” and not just a feeling. You have had your fair share of influencing the idea of “love” in my life. Thank you brother. Have a happy, joyful and blessed married-life ahead.